Rinse
by MoshiMoshiQueen
Summary: Warning: Cutter Song Fic. A blunt and discreptive cutter Meilin finally ignores the blade's call and frees herself.


This was a requested song by Yoru no Artemis, for my fanfic the Meilin Collection, but considering the content of this song fic… I decided to post it away from that collection, and rate it R.

My interpretation was much different from everyone else's, but see what you think of this…

WARNING: Inflicted violence… Don't read if you can't stand blood nor the fact that someone is inflicting pain upon themselves.

Rinse

By MoshiMoshiQueen

~Lyrics~

"Talking"

(Author Speaking)

The light breath of the wind blew in between the cracks of the paper-like buildings. The chilly, shivering voice always managing to reach the places that once hid the tiny bits of warmth.

Cats roamed the streets, their meows ignored, and their skinny bodies stayed unnoticed, for the people that bundled together digging through the dumpsters in back of Fred's Barbeque looked just as thin, and were just as ignored as the street cats.

They silently pleaded that the Earth would stop… for at night the wind was ruthless, and the cold was overbearing. Their pleads were unheard, for the Earth rotated slowly and the night's cruel ice took over as always.

People hurried together hoping to hide from the night's evils. No one roamed the streets at night… it was an unwritten rule, and newcomers were not aware of until it was too late.

The dirty streets were hazardous during the day… and even more deadly at night, for the shadows were a hiding place for all the evils that once roamed the streets in disguise.

Quietness settled in uneasily and the blinking street lights caused more shadows to loom… newcomers usually were even too frightened to take a chance against the streets… but one young woman traveled the streets… fully aware of the evils… fully aware of the shadows and their monsters…

Tears traveled down her pale cheeks, and ice built up against her skin… the pain did not phase her, for pain is what she wanted… what she desired… she needed the end…

Hurrying towards her apartment the blade called her named… first in whispers… then in screams…

It was on the counter where she left it… it was smiling at her, the blade's twisted smile sparkling in a twisted way.

~ She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye  
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise  
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright  
For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight ~

Designs were not worth her time… not to night. She needed the crimson tears to fall lifelessly… she didn't need ruby red pictures of sliced hearts to laugh at her mercifully. 

Reaching for the blade… it then laid upon her palm… the cold metal vibrating in her hand… how could she live without this… this satisfaction? Metal against skin… blood against the stained floor…

The tiny cut was nothing… she needed more… she needed it to go deeper… she needed the pain… She was numb, but she wished to feel.

Why couldn't she feel?!

Anger rushed through her ruthlessly… it blinded her thoughts, clouded her mind… and filled her veins.

The cuts went deeper… the blood went darker… and the pain barely screamed at her… 

Her dull ruby eyes searched her wounds and was unsatisfied with the result… heading towards the sink, she let the blade rest in her left hand as she rinsed the blood from her right arm…

~ She must rinse this all away  
She can't hold him this way  
She must rinse this all away  
She can't love him this way~

The blade called for her again… it was soothing… it helped her, didn't it? It made her aches go away… it was better than anything else… pills never seemed to work… Metal… such a simple thing… such a simple answer.

The water stung the ripe skin, but not even a quiver fell from the young girl's mouth… twisting the faucet, she led herself to the bathroom… there was a wondrous place… 

The dirty bathroom's walls flaked off and the floor tiles were barely visible and were chipped… but, to the young girl… this place was a haven. 

The blade fit in her hand like a glove would… it belonged there… it fit there perfectly…

This was her haven… the only place she could stand… and the blade was her savor… it helped and it soothed.

~ How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see  
She needs to be held in his arms to be free  
But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand  
'til she knows the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man~

The facet was turned on… the bathtub plugged… cruel water reflected her pale features, and dulled ruby orbs.

She stripped from her clothes… stripped from the crimson stained material… her pale body stood soundly as the water poured on…

~ She must rinse this all away  
She can't hold him this way  
She must rinse this all away  
She can't love him this way~

She could not hear the cruel rushing liquid… nor the apartment's moans and groans… the blade called… and only it's words were heard… only it's words were followed…

The wind knocked against the building and sent more spine chilling blows through the paper walls but she felt nothing. She never felt anything, but the pure pleasure of the blade.

Stopping the flow of water, she looked over the liquid, her face blinking back at her.

Her milky white skin would have been envied if her cheeks weren't thinned out… her eyes would have been respected if they weren't dull and lifeless… her smile would have created jealously through out others… if it wasn't a numb frown…

Watching the water's wrinkles spread, she heard the slight sounds of the liquid crashing against the sides… like the ocean waves crashing against cliffs… an incredible sound…

~And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed  
What could be the worse than leaving something behind  
And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow  
It's loneliness she finds...  
If only he was mine ~

Holding the blade to her chest, she then slide it down her left arm creating a crimson line of despair. Blood trickled down the pale flesh and drained upon the cracked floor. The bright red stains standing out like the moon in the darkened sky… bright and just as deadly…

Looking at the twinkling blade, she watched the metal wink back at her… still whispering promises of the end… of the pain…

~ She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye  
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise  
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright  
For answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight~

Turning on the showering waters she watched the wrinkles return and spread rapidly…

Entering the small space, the boiling water scolded her pale skin and automatically turned it a bright red… but the heat was not felt, nor was the wound's stings… nothing was felt… nothing ever would be felt again…

She couldn't keep doing this… the blade lied… its promises were never kept! She couldn't handle it any more… the lies! 

The blade promised the end… it promised to make things to better… to help, but it did nothing… it made things worse… it made things… hurt… ache… and drain the energy from her very body… 

Promises were never kept… the blade yelled, but it was unheard… for the young woman dropped it in the heated waters… the blade's shouts were drowned away…

She needed to be released… to be freed… 

The waters… the drops… the crystal tears… the blood…

Blue… purple… the dark colors…

The end.

~ She must rinse him  
She must rinse him  
She can't rinse him  
She can't rinse him  
She can't, she won't, she must rinse him  
She can't, she won't, she must rinse him  
She must rinse this all away  
She can't hold him this way  
She must rinse this all away  
She can't love him this way~

Well… yes, I realize this is very disturbing… but that is what the song reminds me of… as you probably can tell… the blade is the HE/HIM in the song… most say the song is about an ex-boyfriend… but, I like to relate it towards an object… anyhow… I decided to try a different scene of things for this song ficcy… the fluffy romance or the humorous lines didn't fit the song… and I was tired of the lame old ex-boyfriend plot… so, this will have to do… yes, yes… disturbing, I know… seriously. This Is It is another example of the cutting situation, but wasn't as blunt as this chapter was… any how this isn't going in the Meilin Collection… because, I want this to be separated and rated R… for obvious reasons… 

  
  



End file.
